Puns

Sign in a hair salon: Curl up and dye.
On a diaper service truck: Rock a dry baby.
At a tire store: Time to re-tire.
Music store window: Guitars for sale. Cheap. No strings attached.

"I'm a softball pitcher," said Bob underhandedly.
"I'm going to kill Dracula," said Bob painstakingly.
"Ships ahoy," said Bob fleetingly.
"I'll have to take the telegrapher's test again," said Bob remorsely.

Old postal workers never die -- They just loose their ZIP.
Old mimes never die -- They're just not heard from again.
Old reporters never die -- They just meet their deadlines.
Old electricians never die -- They just loose their spark.

CIA agents aren't fired -- They are despised.
Podiatrists aren't fired -- They are defeated.
Judges aren't fired -- They are dishonored.
Magicians aren't fired -- They are dispelled.

Acrostic -- An angry insect.
Metronome -- A city elf.
Stucco -- What you get when you sit on gummo.
Khakis -- What you use to start your automobile in Boston.

<< Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next >>