Puns

Who was the most popular actor in the Bible?
Samson. He brought down the house.

On a highway safety sign: If you love your kid, belt him.
On another highway safety sign: Be wrekless, not reckless.

On a fortun-teller's door: Medium prices.
On a motel: Dew Drop Inn.
On a music store's door: Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuete.
At a poultry farm: Better laid than ever.
In a real estate office: Get lots for little.
On a divore lawyer's wall: Satisfaction guarenteed or you honey back.
In a car rental agency: Love 'em and lease 'em.
In a restaurant: Protect your bagels. Put lox on them.
In another restaurant: Buy now. Pay waiter.

Have you ever heard about the cannibal that had a wife and ate children?

A matchup between two particularly inept baseball teams was called the Game of the Weak.

Bathing beauty: A girl worth wading for.

Television is like a steak: A medium rarely well done.

Pharaoh's daughter was like a stock broker because she took a little prophet from the rushes on the banks.

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