Misc. Jokes

When I die I want to be asleep like my grandfather was.
Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: Oh no, I lost my tractor!

Q: What did the farmer say when he ran into the barn?
A: OUCH!!!!!!!!!

Why do people have lawn mowers?
Because cows don't fit in the garage.

What do a bird and an elephant have in common?
They both fly. Except for the elephant.

Q: What do you lose every time you stand up?
A: Your Lap!

Q: If a rooster laid an egg on a hill, which way would it roll?
A: None. Roosters Don't Lay Eggs!

Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Just between you and me ... there's something that smells.

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